The fiery doors to Hell’s Bait Shack opened, the blue flaming bell clanging against the door to alert the manager that he had business. He meandered over to the front desk, and it was Satan, his favorite and only customer.
    “Hello there, Satan. How’s the fishing been?” he asked, always polite and friendly to his eternal torturer.
    “Ah, Benny, it’s been good. They’re bitin’ like never before. That is some good bait you got me last time! Can I have some more of that?” Satan requested.
    With this, Benny, Hell’s Bait Shop manager, smiled larger than he had ever smiled before. He knew Satan would be pleased with him.
    “Satan, we got some new bait.” he said.
    “What is it?” Satan inquired. “Money?”
    “No, it’s not money. Sure, money is ole faithful, and it really peaked in the eighties, but there are certain groups it just can’t draw.”
    “Is it a new form of vanity?” Satan asked.
    “No, that is big in the art scene, but for the most part it is too obvious.”
    Satan was really stumped. He crinkled his brow, heavy with horns and bad intentions, and tried to think of what it could be.
    “Sex?” he asked.
    “Closer, but with a brilliant variation, to attract the BIGGEST of prizes!”
    “Okay, what is it?” Satan pleaded, unable to guess anymore through his all-encompassing eagerness.
    “This.”
    Benny pulls from behind his back a small, angelic child. Satan takes one look at the child, and is not impressed. The child was innocent, docile, and as heavenly looking as anything ever created! How could this be the new bait? Benny could see that Satan was not impressed.
    “Satan, just try it.”
    So Satan took the boys to his old fishing hole, and what do you know! In one year, with this newfangled hell-bait, Satan caught himself thirty-nine priests! It was amazing! He wouldn’t even see a single one anywhere near approaching sin, then he’d cast one little, pre-pubescent boy out there, and WHAM! They were practically fighting over it!
    Satan was so pleased with this new bait, he went back to the bait-shack and promised to torture Benny twice as much as he normally would! Because he’s Satan, and Satan loves rewarding every deed with torture.
 

THE END