The following is the Code of Conduct for the Thompson household for the upcoming calendar year, effective immediately:

1) Any attempt to bring a wild animal or human into this household will be met with unmatched brutality

2) Any and all attempts to swaddle my entry with a password are now prohibited

3) Firearms and broadswords are to be announced upon entry

4) Soul-snatching by way of photography shall be limited to holidays (excluding Boxing Day and Hallow's Eve)

5) All talk of subterranean monkeys and their evil intentions shall cease immediately

6) Hard hats are mandatory-  for your own protection

7) No physical contact with inanimate objects is allowed unless express written consent is first attained

8) Unless your name is tattooed on a visible region of your body, do not expect me to remember you, and do not expect me to refrain from punching you

9) When writing any piece of literature, all "qu"'s are to be replaced with "kw"'s, for ekwality purposes

    If you fail to comply with the aforementioned intelligence, a small fee is required to enter my domain.  And even then, I cannot promise that you will enjoy your stay.