His time was up.  Colin Garrett, the U.S. embassador to Peru, was about to be deep-sixed.  The fact that he was the embassador to Peru had nothing to do with his current situation, and sure as hell wouldn't get him out of it.  It actually started when his wife was raped, and his home pillaged by 15th century pirates.  Vowing revenge, Colin devised a plan to get back at the dirty rapscallions.  He would have to board a Russian sub, and from there, blow the pirates back into the Robert Louis Stevenson novel they came from.  He knew he risked danger from both the pirates AND the Russians, but he was ready to meet The Creator, and he was taking those dirty fiends with him.  After boarding the Russian sub, en route to the pirates, Colin was discovered- not by a Russian, but by the ghost of his late wife.  She brought with her many other ghosts, including Robert Frost, Joe Montana, and his old dog- Flippers.  They surrounded Colin, tackled him, and brought him to the top of the sub, which hadn't yet descended.  Colin repeatedly asked what he had done wrong, but every time a ghost made to speak, "Heroes and Villains" by The Beach Boys was all that came out of their transparent mouths.  He was pushed to the edge of the sub, and silently ordered to jump off the side, to his certain doom.  Colin tried swallowing through the dryness consuming his mouth, but all efforts were as hopeless as escape from these ghosts, on top of this blasted sub.  There was nothing left to do.  Colin took a giant step.  The step spanned about 200 feet, and went straight downward, into his icy, undulating coffin.  Peru will need a new embassador.