Well me wife, she is toothless,

The taxman is ruthless.

Can't nobody soothe this

Poor soul while it grieves.

Me daughter was stolen,

Me liver's all swollen.

Just find me a hole and

I'll rot like the leaves.

 

Oh, it's a long, hard life.

 

Now the dog and the cat

Robbed me blind as a bat,

Then they went on and shat

On my poor little babies.

I went to the medic

To cure a foul headache

The doctor then said I

Came down with the scabies.

 

Oh, it's a long, hard life.

 

I been beaten and jailed,

I been shot and impaled,

And I've surely inhaled

Poisons killing me brain.

Me teeth they are chatterin'

Clothes, they are tatterin'

But that will not matter when

I'm raving insane.

 

Oh, it's a long, hard life.

 

No, it isn't a rumor

I need some help soon, for

I've the biggest damn tumor

That you'll ever see.

My eyes turned to goo,

And my tongue it is blue,

And my skin falls off too,

Thanks to my leprosy.

 

Oh, it's a long, hard life.

 

 

THE END