Now carrying the rank of High School Sophomore, Captain Meltyface embarks on a new adventure: Driver’s Ed. Most of the other students, by this time, have known Meltyface for years, and have grown accustomed to his proclamations of Captain-hood, and his ghoulish, lopsided head. But the teachers! It was a new experience every time. The Driver’s Ed. Teacher, Mr. Fassel, is in the middle of a lecture, telling of the dangers of drunk driving.
     “Okay, class. Can somebody tell me one danger of driving drunk?”
     Amy, one of Meltyface’s classmates, raises her hand, and she is called on. “ You can get arrested and put in jail.”
     “Yes, that could happen. But what are some more serious, physical dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol?” asks Mr. Fassel. Captain Meltyface raises his hand, and the teacher reluctantly calls on him. He stands.
     “Well, one such danger could be hitting another car who was carrying a boy dressed up like a pirate captain. And the cars could explode, the intense flames trapping the child inside the excruciating inferno that used to be a Honda Civic. The fire could continually lick at the poor captain, forcing him to hold together the pancake batter that used to be his precious face. That is one thing that could happen.”
     Silence. Two children start crying, then another three join in, unable to hold back their tears. Mr. Fassel’s eyes were wide open, probably shocked at Meltyface’s eloquence. Boy was THAT a fun day of class! And then came the driving test. Captain Meltyface was a little rusty at first, but the driving instructor was really nice, and was watching him the whole time. As he sat completely rigid, a fearful tear always present in his eye, Meltyface could tell he was going to pass… and he did!
    When it came time to get the picture taken, it took a little while. They took the picture, but when it got developed, the lady said, “I think the machine is broken. It smeared your entire face all over the-“ and then she stopped, looking at Captain Meltyface’s gruesome, smiling face for the first time. She had already ripped up the first one, so they had to take the picture all over again. But by the end of the day, Meltyface got his license, and the open roads had a new member of the driving club. Captain Meltyface!